5) Searching for a Superhero

While I was searching for that next chapter with John, my parents finally allowed my siblings and I to come over. 

The night before I received a text from my brother who was already down at their house.

“Hey…are you coming down tonight or tomorrow?” he asked.

“Haven’t decided yet but I don't think I will tonight. Maybe tomorrow afternoon.”

The next day he texted me again.

“What time are you coming down?”

Again I knew right away there had to be a reason why my brother wanted to know when I’d be there. He obviously had something important to tell me. And I had a strong feeling that this time he wouldn’t be making an announcement about death.

I was debating whether or not to go to my parents but since I had a feeling this was going to be a big moment, I didn’t want to miss it.

We were sitting around the table when my sister-in-law slid an envelope over to me. 

“I knew it”, I said as I reached for the envelope.

I opened it and inside was a name tag that said Aunt Jax.

“Oh how did you know?” my mom asked. “I didn’t get it at first.”

“Well for starters why else would she give up coffee for Lent?”

“No, I really wanted to try it,” my sister-in-law insisted.

“Ok. But the real give away was that she voluntarily decided to spend the first month of the pandemic isolating down here with you guys.”

“Oh come on we’re fun,” my mom said. 

My sister and I just looked at each other.

“Well in case you were wondering, I’m going to be called Nonna,” my mom said proudly.

I turned to my dad. “What about you?”

“I’m leaning towards ‘Sir’,” he replied.

“Please don’t do that to this child.”

“You should’ve heard what Uncle Glen had to say,” my brother said.

“Uncle Glen found out before I did?”

My mom shrugged. “Well he called last night so we had to tell him.”

“How’s he doing?”

“He’s tested positive, but he’ll be fine. He’s just so excited to meet this baby,” my mom said with a smile.

“I am due right around his birthday,” added my sister-in-law.

That meant the baby was also due right around John’s one year.

I didn’t need a gender reveal. I already knew this baby would be a boy.

A baby boy due right around John’s one year anniversary.

I sat there quietly avoiding eye contact with everyone.

I felt one tear drop.

Then another.

I ran upstairs as quickly as I could.

There were many reasons why I struggled with the news. Some too personal and private to write here. This was just one of many life events that John would miss. John was gone and he was never coming back. I was faced with a harsh reality.

This baby would never know John.

There was only one way I could deal with this pain. By writing.

My dad already had a list of books he wanted to get for the baby. Not one of them was an actual baby book and most of them were about the economy.

“Are you sure those are the right books for a baby?” I asked.

My dad nodded. “The baby needs to start saving for retirement now.”

I had a different idea in mind.

Just because the baby would never meet John didn’t mean he wouldn’t know him.

I grabbed my notebook and jotted down some ideas. I thought about some lessons that I would want my nephew to learn and I created short stories all involving a incredibly cool main character.

Joking John: Baby’s First Superhero.

Writing a children’s book, even if it was just for my nephew, brought a little purpose back into my life. I felt motivated and energized.

But while I was working on this project, life took an unexpected turn.

Our beloved Uncle Glen never made it home. He never made it to meet the baby.

(If you ever heard my standup then yes that uncle.)

Despite his many health struggles, Glen had a big heart and a positive attitude. I included him in one of the adventures with Joking John, capturing his essence as best I could. I then wrote three more for my grandparents. Now they could all still be part of the baby’s childhood.

Writing about John for my nephew inspired a bigger idea. There’s no reason why I couldn’t write an actual book for more kids to read. Maybe this would be the next chapter I was looking for. The thought of publishing a book one day gave me hope.

My nephew helps me hold on to this hope.

Recently I was at my parents’ house when my nephew ran into my room. I picked him up and as I was about to walk out the door, he turned to look at the photo that I keep on the nightstand next to my bed. My nephew waved his hand and said the following two words:

“Hi John.”

He knows him.