15) Break a Leg

The first thing I do each morning is text my grandma.

If I don't, I’ll receive a text from her asking why she hasn’t heard from me yet.

When she first got her phone she was frustrated, but within a week she was not only texting, but also downloaded both Instagram and Facebook.

My grandma loves to text except when she's watching the Yankees. She gets very offended when people interrupt her during that time.  She let me in a little secret once. When someone texts her and she doesn't want to talk to them she simply replies “ok”.

But her absolute favorite part of her phone is the Bitmoji.

I never had a Bitmoji before but since I wanted to stay on my grandma’s goodside I knew I had to create one.

So since then it’s become our tradition for me to send her a Good Morning Bitmoji every single day.

On the morning after my first show in the city I wished her a good morning then proceeded on with my day. A couple hours later I checked my phone and saw she hadn't responded yet. Very unlike her. Maybe the Yankees had an early game. 

Finally at 10:45 am I received a text but it was from my mom not grandma.

Before I opened it I smiled assuming there'd be some funny story of grandma doing something to her phone and wanting to explain it to me.

Instead this is what I read:

“Good morning! Don’t text grandma. She fell this morning and is in the hospital. Probably dislocated or broke her hip. Having x-rays taken now. I will keep you posted.”

I was crushed.

The X-rays would later reveal that it wasn’t her hip but instead her femur.

The amount of people who told me just the day before to break a leg and then my grandma actually broke hers. 

My mom explained that there were some risks with the surgery and due to an unexpected health issue there would be even more complications. I was overwhelmed by the thought of my grandma not making it through. I had to talk to her. I didn’t want to scare her but I wanted her to know how I felt so I sent her tons of I love you Bitmojis. I waited and waited, worried that she wouldn't check her phone before surgery.

Finally she texted me back.

I paused before opening the text. I wiped away a tear as I was already overwhelmed with emotion. 

I opened my eyes and saw what she wrote.

“Ok.”

And I laughed.

People always ask me who I get my sense of humor from.  I think it’s a combo of my grandma(Mom’s mom) and my grandpa (Dad’s dad).

My grandma is sharp and witty. I often wonder had she been born to a different generation what career she would have gone into.

I don’t take for granted for a second how lucky I am to live during a time when I could do absolutely anything with my life.

I'm not saying this just because she’s my grandma, but I think she’s really talented. We spent a lot of time during the pandemic filming sketches together. I was the writer/director. She was the star. 

But besides all the fun we have together, my grandma was my biggest support after losing John. She never told me what to do or how to feel. She sat with me. She sat with my grief.

During that time when I didn’t know how I would get through the day, when I didn’t have strength, I'd lay in her living room. She sat there with me so I knew I wasn't alone. She walked over to my couch and placed a big blanket on me. It was so heavy for her to carry that she nearly tripped. But she took baby steps, symbolizing what I would have to do. 

When I brought John as my date to my other brother's wedding, I remember during cocktail hour when we walked past where she was sitting, she jumped out of her chair and waved yelling, “John! Hi John!” with the biggest smile on her face. 

I looked up at him as he smiled and waved back to her. 

“Didn’t you see her before at the church? She’s waving as if she has seen you in years,” I said.

John put his arm around my shoulder and said, “Jax, I just talked to her 10 minutes ago.”

And that’s the impact John had on people. Anytime, and everytime, he walked into a room, he made everyone happier.

To this day my grandma plays a big role in helping me honor John. She recently called me on his birthday just to sing happy birthday.

The thought of anything happening to my grandma, my rock, was unbearable.

I FaceTimed her the night after her surgery.

“Hey Grandma, you were supposed to come to my show on Saturday. So you broke your leg and your promise.”

She laughed. I knew if she still had her sense of humor she’d be alright.

She had a rough couple of days with several setbacks.

The night before my theater show I was able to visit her in the hospital. I looked at her laying in the hospital bed.

Then I looked at the  white board on the wall. It listed the names of her doctors, nurses, medications. It had instructions and important notes.  And in the midst of all of that, I saw written on the board, “TBS 6:09 NOVA. 8:49 DUKE.”  She had someone write the times and channels for the March Madness games she wanted to watch. 

“Jax, I can't do this. I don’t have the strength.”

“Yes you do, Grandma.”

“No, I'm tired. I’m in pain. I’ll never be able to walk again.”

“One step at a time.”

She rolled her eyes. 

“I know it's hard to see when you’re just starting out. But you’ll get to where you need to be. It’s not going to happen overnight.”

My grandma was laying in bed dozing off. I decided to leave to let her rest up before the big games she wanted to watch.

As I took a few steps closer to the door she opened her eyes.

“Jax.”

“Yes Grandma.”

“You’re going to do great tomorrow night.”

“Thanks. Should I break a leg?”

“No. I did this for you.”

“I love you.”

“Ok.”